So, to Devin I say...
Preferring that I be the one to change your poopy diaper and to check on you in the middle of night certainly does not make me feel like your favorite parent. Also, your third birthday was last week, and you still seem overly attached to your diaper. I'm hopeful that we can address the best way to express your preference for me at 2 in the morning and also that you can say bye-bye to your diaper and hello to the potty chair or toilet, if you prefer.
You know, Devin, I can't help but be reminded of the way you NEVER held your own bottle. This was sweet at the time, even though I thought you were resisting letting go of your babyhood. Even if it was resistance, there was no harm done because graduating from your bottle involved drinking from a cup, and I never had to hold that for you. And, there was time. But, you have to graduate from your diaper and into underwear and I don't want to sop pee off the floor with papertowels every time we give potty training a go. So, could you work with me on this? You promised...
So, the other day, I was trying to entice Devin to go potty in the potty chair, and I told him that I would sing and dance and clap if he would go potty in the potty chair or toilet. He said, "No, I'll sing and dance and clap." I asked him if that meant he would sing and dance and clap after he went potty? He said, "No, after you go potty."
You got all wrong, kid! (But, the comedic timing, he's got that, see?!?)
We were all running late this morning because Trevor engaged me in the following paraphrased conversation:
T: "What is a ware?"
Me: "Do you mean like 'wear your clothes' or 'where are your clothes'?
He was quiet.
Me: "Do you mean like werewolf?"
He was still quiet.
T: "What does it mean when you're supposed to BEWARE?"
Me: "Oh, that means to be careful of things that could hurt or frighten you."
T: "Oh, like you should beware of monsters?"
Me: "Yes, or like you should beware of traffic and look both ways before crossing a street."
T: "Should you beware of aliens? Do aliens exist?"
Me: "They might exist. No one knows for sure. Some people say they've seen them, but they don't have proof. I've never seen them, but the universe goes on forever, and they night exist. We just don't know for sure."
T: "If I met an alien, I wouldn't punch him in the face if he was nice, but if he were a bad alien, I would punch him."
Me: "If he were really bad, you should just run away."
He was skeptical.
T: "Do monsters exist?"